It's All In The Terminology (Aparently)

I was raised by my mom, who considers herself "not Christian, but spiritual." I grew up watching my mom explore the idea of a mother and a father god. She kept crystal geodes all over the house. She stressed the importance of candles and the meanings of their colors. She used a crystal pendulum and tarot deck to help her solve life's problems. She was a firm believer in herbalism and natural healing. She used salt to dispel negative energy. She was the one who taught me to use a tarot deck in the first place, and she strongly encouraged my highly intuitive abilities. All of this, while retaining a strong connection to the god of Christianity. My mom was, essentially, a Christian Witch (or christowitch).

The only thing is, she doesn't know this. She believes what she believes simply because it makes sense to her. That's it. Since before I can remember, she was always very involved in Christianity. She was outcast from her community, though when she expressed her interest in these non-traditional ideas that she believed in. So she continued her own path in solitude; continuing to believe in the Christian god while sticking to her guns about her non-traditional beliefs (like tarot, communicating with the dead, the power of candles and crystals, etc).

The only difference between her and I is that I decided to research these beliefs further. By pure accident, I discovered Wicca. From there, I learned about witchcraft. It was so eerie to read and hear how the beliefs of these "witches" lined up with my own beliefs so closely. I discovered that I had essentially been a witch my whole life, I just didn't know my practices by that name. My mom however, chooses to identify as "spiritual" because she has a very close relationship with her god and feels that is the best way she can disassociate herself with Christianity while still holding onto her relationship with her god.

Now, on to my point. She made a very disturbing comment to me on the phone today. She was checking out my shop (because she's always ordering tarot readings from me), and she apparently noticed for the first time that I refer to my practices as "witchcraft." She said "aren't you afraid you're going to attract the devil into your life by calling yourself a witch?"

I simply told her that I don't believe in the devil. The devil is an entity belonging to Christianity and I am not a Christan. I'm a Pagan, technically. This isn't news. This has been the case for years. I think she took that as a slight to her religion, though, because she got all snippy and said some more things about my practice being a potential magnet for evil and then abruptly ended the phone call.

Although it was rather short, this conversation has been bothering me a great deal ever since. First of all, I'm hurt. This comment came from my mom. This is the person who raised me and should know me better than anyone. She's the one who taught me many of the things I know now. She raised me to walk the path that I walk. I can't even kill a spider, and this woman thinks that I am dabbling in evil.

Secondly, I'm offended. We've had plenty of talks about religion before. She knows very well what I stand for, and I know what she stands for. We can easily find common ground among our (slightly) different religious/spiritual paths and respect each other when it comes to our differences. Or, so I thought. I had no idea that something as simple as terminology can make such a big difference in determining good from bad.

I see this as super hypocritical. Just five minutes earlier, she had been begging me for a tarot reading. I guess that's OK, as long as it's not called witchcraft. But as soon as it's witchcraft (which IT IS), then it's evil and the Christian devil will come find you even though you don't even subscribe to a religion that believes in the devil.

It's scary how deeply rooted religious ignorance can be. She doesn't even fully understand what witchcraft is. But because she was once told by someone (who also knows nothing of witchcraft) that witchcraft is associated with the devil, she believes it. So much so that she chose that idea (which is hearsay) over first-hand knowledge of who her own daughter is.

I'll be bothered by this for a while. I just had to get this off my chest since my mom pretty much hung up on me and didn't give me a chance to talk it out with her.

Thank goodness for blogs!