Totem Animals

I've been working my way through the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. This is the first time I've done any kind of research on totem animals, and this book is teaching me a lot so far!

As a little girl, I somehow developed the belief that my "spirit guide" would appear to me in the form of an animal. Don't ask me who taught me that, it was just one of those things I assumed.

Throughout my life I've had a few animals that could very well have been totem animals, but the hummingbird and the fox have been the most consistent.

Until I started reading this book, I thought they were just manifestations of whatever spirit was watching over me. I would see these animals everywhere I went. They appeared in recurring dreams, I would run into them in real-life in the most unlikely places, and other people would often give me gifts that had something to do with that animal (although I rarely talked about this with anyone). Now that I'm reading this book, I'm starting to learn a lot more about what I was missing about these occurrences.

Looking back, those animals were appearing to me so often because they represented something important in my life at the time. They were either trying to teach me a big lesson, or they were warning me about something that was coming. Of course, I had no idea at the time. I just thought there was something that was sending those animals to either be my friend or my protector (because those were two things I desperately needed at the time).

The fox, my most recent "totem animal" has been following me in my dreams for years. But I didn't know it had much significance until it appeared in the same dream that I got my magical name from (you can read about that dream here).  Since then, the fox has acted as an aid in my study of the craft in many ways. It's a clever, fast, and tricky creature that has been thought to live on the border between the two worlds. It brings me important messages in my dreams, helps guide me in meditations, and even greets me in person at the most unlikely times.

What's your totem animal? How has it helped you?

 

 

"So Mote It Be"

The phrase, "so mote it be" is popular among many witches, pagans, and Wiccans. It's widely used in spells and rituals as a closing statement, sort of an "amen." It is deeply rooted in Wiccan tradition, dating all the way back to Aleister Crowley and Gerald Gardner (who apparently borrowed the term from the Freemasons).

It was included in all of the books I used to teach myself the craft so, naturally, I adopted it myself. But nonetheless, I always felt funny using it in my spells. That one term seemed so out of place among everything else in all of my spells, like such an old phrase didn't belong as a conclusion to a spell that was otherwise written in the modern dialect that I am familiar with. I always felt uncomfortable using it and as a result, used it only half-heartedly.

But for me, that defeats the purpose of having it there in the first place. It's not just a conclusion, but a statement of power. By ending a spell like this, you are affirming to yourself and the universe that your words and intent have immense power. Because you will this spell into fruition, it will be so! That's why it was so important to me that I keep it in my spells instead of just scrapping it altogether. Without it my spells feel incomplete, like they stop abruptly and then just putter out.

I decided to tweak it so that it was something I was fully comfortable saying. It became "As is my will, so it will be." It is essentially the same phrase, and its meaning is exactly the same. I pretty much just got rid of the word 'mote.' No one in these modern times ever uses that word. Because of this, I feel that it just didn't have a place in my craft. I think that a witch's craft needs to be very personal and everything must mean something to the individual conducting the spell. Otherwise, it won't hold as much power.

Now, I can conclude my spells with complete confidence in the words that are coming out of my mouth. I am using words that I fully understand and am comfortable with, and that only enhances the potency of my intention.

This Witch's Rede: Laws of Balance

For the first few years of my study of witchcraft, I thought I was Wiccan. I read Wiccan books, studied up on gods, learned the Rede, and tried to find a tradition to place myself in. After a while, I realized that Wicca as a religion just isn't for me. In fact, religion and I just don't get along very well period, no matter what religion it is.

But I just couldn't give up witchcraft. A witch I am, and a witch I always will be! After all, you don't have to be Wiccan to be a witch, and you don't have to be a witch to be Wiccan either. So I decided to let go of Wicca and continue on with my practice of witchcraft.

Some people I know thought I was abandoning a light path for a dark one, so to speak. They thought I just wanted the witchcraft without any of the rules or guidance or accountability that (supposedly) comes along with being a part of a religion. But that's actually not true at all.

In fact, I'm a firm believer in karma. I've posted about it here before. Just because I don't worship a god who will punish me if I disobey him doesn't mean that I am not concerned with the consequences of my actions. I believe that there is a strong force out there that requires balance in all things. If you do something to upset that balance, such as intentionally cause harm to someone else, it will come back to you in some form in order to restore the balance that was tipped.

Even actions as simple as a small spell for attracting money. That money has to actually come from somewhere. Love spells are the same. Are you messing with someone else's free will in order to get something you selfishly want? That's going to cost you in the long run. Nothing is without consequences.

Some believe in the "rule of three," in which whatever you put out into the universe is going to come back to you three times. I'm not sure I believe it's quite that severe. That itself seems to be an upset in balance. Think of a scale full of pennies on each side. I tip the scale on my side because I want some of those pennies. What happens then? The scale certainly does not lean three times as heavy in the other direction. Balance is restored if an equal amount of weight is emptied from the other side.

This is my idea of a rede. I believe that the universe, or "karma," will find a way to restore all balances that were upset or otherwise messed with. Sometimes it's such a severe imbalance that it springs into action and knocks you on your ass. Other times it's a slow process and may not happen for a while. But it is always corrected eventually.

I'm quite sure that not all witches share this belief. Some don't live by any rules at all, while others have very strict rules they abide by. I may not worship a god, but I can certainly govern myself when it comes to right and wrong.

On Being "Normal"

Normal is a strange idea. The dictionary defines it as, "conforming to the standard or the common type." So in other words, to be normal is to be just like everyone else.

Normal is something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Witchcraft is a huge part of my life, and lately more and more people I know have been discovering my involvement in it. I usually don't just come right out and tell people, since I don't think it's a "need to know" detail, but I don't make any effort to hide it.

I get the same response often from people who find out: "Oh wow, you seem so normal!"

To me, this statement implies two things: that one who practices witchcraft is not normal, and that I do a pretty good job at pretending to conform.

I'm sure that this statement is meant as a compliment. I know that it comes from a place of well-meaning ignorance. After all, most people are only exposed to "witchcraft" when they accidentally bump into a teenage girl at the mall who's wearing black lipstick and has smeared mascara down her cheeks. She yells something in gibberish and threatens to curse you using the voodoo doll she's got in her purse.

Still, I find the word 'normal' a little unsettling. Being normal never gets anyone anywhere. Being normal doesn't allow for change, or progress, or growth. Normal is stagnant, repetitive, and limiting. In order to truly learn anything or get anywhere, you have to break away from what everyone else is doing and experiment for yourself.

Just as this is true for everyone else, it's true for witches as well. Are you going to discover anything new if you only do the spells everyone else is doing, or if you only study the topics everyone else is studying? Of course not! Branch out and learn something new. Study the world for yourself. Read books that don't have the word witchcraft on the cover and make the connections yourself.

It's nice that my non-witch friends think I'm so normal. It allows them to relate to me easily. But I definitely don't strive for normal. I strive to strike out and discover things that others haven't, and then spread that information around like the plague! Where would we be without people who did things like that?

Magic

Magic. What is it, anyway?

Someone recently asked me this question. I have to admit, I was pretty stumped for a while. How do you explain something like that? How do you put it all into words and sum it up in a way that it can be easily understood?

It's not an easy thing to do right off the bat. To be honest, everyone you ask is probably going to give you a different answer, based on what magic means to them and their personal experiences with it. In fact, after a solid look at all of my journal entries on this matter, I realized that my own ideas of what magic is have changed over many years. I'll do my best here to explain it based on what I've learned and my own personal understanding.

Essentially, magic is energy. Energy is everywhere in one form or another. It's in you and it's in the tree in your backyard. It's in the wind and it's in the sea. It's deep inside the earth and it's in the sun. Energy is everything and nothing would exist without it.

So why is it magic? Well, when you "do magic," you connect your energy with the energy around you. You are using it and manipulating it. That energy is there and readily available for anyone and everyone. But sadly, most people don't realize that. Most people live their entire lives completely unaware of this concept, or believing it to be a supernatural fairytale or hoax. When one opens their mind and learns to work with those energies, that is magic.

Some might wonder what the point is. Why would anyone bother learning to connect with energies around them? All that time and effort, and for what? Well, first of all, learning to connect with the world around you puts you back in touch with yourself. You are essentially the same as every other living thing on the planet and once you realize that, you will be more likely to work with the world around you rather than against it. This creates and indescribable sense of peace.

Second, learning to manipulate energy helps to get shit done! There is immense power in intent, and learning to control and direct your intentions in the right ways can help you accomplish things you never thought were possible.

I do magic of some sort every single day. Some days it's as simple as sitting under a tree and listening to what it has to teach me. Other days I might need to do a spell and muster up enough energy and intent to get things moving in the direction I need them to. It's all magic.

Karma

Karma has been playing a huge roll in my life lately. As I shared in this post from a few weeks ago, I was majorly screwed over at work by someone who I thought was a friend. It broke my heart, and I felt betrayed and defeated. I was unjustly pushed out of a job that I needed and was in line for, and that was a huge threat to my income and my well being.

Within days, Karma swooped right in and turned things completely upside down. She was removed from the position and it was offered to me. Again. Not only that, but she is now experiencing the struggles that I would have been going through, had she succeeded in pushing me out of that promotion.

Now, make no mistake! I do not wish this on her. I know how hard it is to be working part time and to be fighting to get enough hours just to cover the costs of your food. I know how hard it is to be living with family because you can't afford your own place. I've been doing that for the past year and a half! I truly am sad that someone who I was once so close to is struggling so much.

However, I am in awe at Karma's effectiveness. She plucked that girl off her high horse and gave her a hefty dose of her own medicine. Reap what you sow and what not.

I can't help but notice that this kind of justice has been happening all around me lately. People are getting exactly what they deserve in epic ways, including me. I've never seen this happen before, it's all just been unfairness and injustice in life up until now. Those who step on toes get ahead, and the good people are held underwater by those who have no conscience.

I can't help but wonder if justices in life are now beginning to balance out because of the witchcraft I've been involved in. It certainly has changed my life. I see things differently, take a different approach to life's struggles, and strive for balance and harmony. But is that leaking out to the people around me, too?

I also wonder if the whole job fiasco is a result of the spells I've done. I have always been warned that spells performed can result in consequences that go far beyond what you imagined. Did the simple job spell that I performed (wealth sigil carved on a green candle, and a simple incantation asking for a job that suits my needs) reach so far into the situation that it knocked her completely on her ass? I sure hope not! I like to think that it's because that's what you get when you let your selfishness and greed take over and you try to hurt others. But hey, that's just me!

 

 

Heartache

Someone once commented on how they thought that being a Witch was cheating at life. As if we have all of the answers and can get whatever we want with the snap of our fingers. Thanks for that stupid misconception, Hollywood.

But that's not the case at all. Yes, I have tools to help me though life's tough situations (divination, meditation, etc.), and I'm better able to cope with stress than I could ever have hoped to be without Witchcraft, but that doesn't mean shit never hits the fan.

A prime example of that happens to be right now. To give you the short version of it, my very best friend of all time just ended our friendship out of nowhere because of selfishness and greed. She intentionally cost me a promotion that I desperately needed (and, in turn, my income and my family's well-being) so that she could continue an office affair without getting in trouble. She could have come to me with her situation, and we could have agreed to compete fairly for that job. Instead, she waited until after I was already offered the job, and then used that affair to slip in through the backdoor and right into my desk without my ever knowing what was going on. She then said some really mean things and boasted about her new promotion.

Well, she ended up getting caught and fired, and so did the other participant in that affair. And I am moving into that job just like I was supposed to, like nothing ever happened. Even though karma came in and dealt her the hand that she deserved, that doesn't mean the situation hurts any less. Even though it worked out in my favor in the end, my heart is still breaking over that betrayal and the loss of (what I thought was) my best friend. I still hurt for her because she just made a huge mistake and cost herself her job.

Being a Witch doesn't make things like this easier. I am still suffering from the loss of a friendship, and from self-doubt because I was obviously a bad judge of character in this case. The best I can do is try to dissolve and ground this ball of hurt and negative energy within me, and try to move on.

Garlic

Garlic is my favorite go-to remedy for many things, and it always has been! When I was growing up, it was a staple in my mother's kitchen. She added it to nearly everything she made, much like many people use salt and pepper. Her response to coughs, sniffles, and sore throats was always an immediate dosage of garlic-- for everyone in the house!

My mom wasn't a witch, but she was raised in a Native American family who believed in the medicinal properties of plants. I thought she was just crazy back then, but now that I'm grown up (and a bit of an herbalist, myself!), I know that her beliefs actually had merit.

Now I'm just as enthusiastic about it as she was! Although my fiancee hates the taste of it and won't often tolerate food that contains any detectable amount, I still use it regularly in other ways!

• Protection spells. Most of my protection spells contain garlic in one form or another, whether it be whole, minced, or powdered. It has significant protective properties, and is wonderful for warding!
• Pest control. I always plant garlic in my garden right along with all of my veggies and herbs. It is a natural repellent for pests that I don't want on my plants, particularly aphids! I also rub garlic juice on my dogs (little bits in strategic places where I know they can't lick it off or get it in their eyes) to repel fleas, ticks, and mosquitoes.
• Medicine. Just like when I was a kid, I always ingest garlic at the first sign of a cold. It is a natural antibiotic and helps keep common colds at bay. It's also wonderful for sore throats! I mince it into hot water and gargle with it to help fight the infection during a cold.

I like it so much is because it's so easily accessible. It's usually about half a dollar for one bulb at the grocery store, and there is always an abundance. It's easy to store and keeps for long periods of time as long as it's kept dry. It's also very easy to grow at home in the garden or in pots!

Do you use garlic for any of your own magical endeavors?  How does it work for you?

Fear of Self

One of the things that held me back for a long time was fear of myself. I spent two years reading about and researching Witchcraft before I got the guts to actually start practicing. I was afraid of my own power.

The idea that I could use my mind and energy to control a situation or otherwise influence the world around me was scary. What if I did something wrong and made something bad happen? What if I accidentally hurt someone or myself? Or worse yet, what if there was a darkness hiding in me that managed to get out?

I didn't trust myself. Not one bit. And that doesn't mix well with Witchcraft at all. One of the biggest powers in Witchcraft is belief; in yourself, in your power, in your magick, in your ability to accomplish what you're attempting. But I didn't have that.

For a while I had a recurring dream that a menacing figure (which I now know to represent my fear of myself) was coming after me. It chased me everywhere and was constantly gaining ground no matter how fast I ran. Finally, I tried facing it. I stood up to it and used some sort of defensive spell that got out of hand. Storms began raging in the sky, floods closed in and squandered all of the life around me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out how to undo the damage I had caused. I had unleashed power that had gotten out of hand and grew far beyond my control. My fear projection just laughed at me.

It was after this dream that I knew I had to make some changes. In the next year, I spent time carefully getting to know myself and coming to terms with who I truly am. It wasn't until then that I realized there was nothing to fear, and I finally felt ready to begin practicing.

I am now seeing this same problem a lot in people who are looking to get into the Craft as a beginner. They fear that they may not be fully in control, or that they might do something wrong and cause unintended harm somewhere. I'm sure it's been this way for a number of newcomers since the beginning of time, but I'm just now seeing that I wasn't alone in harboring this fear when I started.

It is my belief that in order to successfully practice Witchcraft, you must be very familiar and comfortable with yourself. If you aren't, your self-doubt will get in the way and sabotage you and everything you try to do. Nothing will work because deep down, you don't want it to (for fear that it will go wrong). Just remember that Witchcraft is extremely personal, and you can do it entirely your way. Know that your intent and belief is what fuels it, so get to know yourself and what your intentions are. Practice meditation, keep a journal, pay attention to what your inner self says to you.

Dreamtime

Dreamtime is always when I'm at my wisest. My mind is able to work freely, to go wherever it needs to in order to bring me solutions to problems, and give me hints about things that are to come.

My magical name came to me in a dream. I have a fox that has been following me around in my dreams since I was a child, offering me protection and companionship. I believe that my father finds it easiest to communicate with me in my dreams. He makes it clear that he's watching out for me from the Other World and sometimes passes along very important information this way. Even my familiar has used the dream world to communicate with me, telling me of a painful tumor she had that I wouldn't have known about otherwise.

The tricky part is actually remembering my dreams. Until I discovered the Craft, it was very rare that I remembered my dreams. Once in a blue moon one would linger in my head for a while after waking up, and slowly fade out of my mind's grasp as the day went on. Other than that, I didn't remember my dreams, if I even had any at all!

When I started studying the Craft, I learned that what my dreams have to say to me is actually very important. I crafted a short and simple spell to repeat to myself before bed time so that my mind would be open to whatever my dreams had to say, and so that I would be more likely to remember them in the morning. I also learned to create a shield around myself when I slept so that any negative energy would not get to me while I slept.

As soon as I wake up, I write down everything I remember from the dream I just had. Even if it doesn't seem important or doesn't make much sense to me now, it might later on!